NAME CHANGE LOOMS

Spanish Oaks (Golf Club) could become SPANISH OAKS or PALM TREE Golf Club, based on an informal survey of new trees planted on the various estates. A colorful flock of parrots to be let free to roam the properties and piped in Jimmy Buffet music will complete the transition, according to cynics who recall the 'natrual' promise of Daniel Porter.

ADOPT A SUNKEN ROAD

A Porsche trap has been set on the back of SO BLVD, as the ground beside a manhole has progressively sunk in the middle of the street. There is said to be a same-sized bulge in Xquan-Xio, China. Close inspection of the asphalt surrounding many manholes shows cracking. DLC has put forth an initiative whereby residents and owners may ADOPT portions of the road as it sinks around the culverts, etc.

Each sponsor will receive a customized bright orange traffic cone to be placed at or near their adopted infrastructure item. After repairs are made, billed, and paid, a permanent plaque will be placed roadside.

"What a Great Idea, " said spokesperson Bucyrus Vanderlay. "We are immediately implementing the initiative which teaches kids how to be socially responsible while it makes SO a better place for all. This adoption can be by an individual, a family, or even a company. We also have broken curbing available for adoption and are thinking about expanding this novel approach to Adopt A Guard!"

"Cutting project maintenance out of the budget was a hard choice to make, but when you are a multi-hundred million dollar company across the Northern Hemisphere, every little bit helps."

SEA MONKEY PLANS ON HOLD

Plans to convert the fishing hole into a Sea Monkey breeding ground with adjacent mail-order station have been abandoned. "That's not to say we aren't looking for ways to decrease the assessments," said E.I. Somethingson, in a telephone interview. "Turns out we just don't have enough salt in that durn lake to grow them things which we all know are so popular, especially with kids. But we still have a lot of rocks to turn over as we look for some new money streams. Some of the things we're considering are Hill Country Snake Jerky; The Hill Country Golf Cart Demolition Derby; The Celebrity Cardboard Cutout Forest; and The Stare At The Houses You Can't Afford Dream Bus Tour."

GRAVITY SINK HOLES POSSIBLE

Investigators from the Office of The Paranormal and Unexplained are due to S.O. this week as mysterious gravity sink holes have been theorized under fallen empty trashcans lining stretches of streets here.

"Yes, we are headed up to Austin," said Leroy DeSainte, noted researcher. "Some of these abnormalities can be attributed to natural causes, but we do have to look more closely into this. They could be caused by a percolation effect of a shifting of the earth's magma, affecting gravity locally. We've also had reports that some golf balls seeming to stick inside the holes on numbers 3,12, and 15. If the magma gets a little elliptical, well, that can make things heavier in certain circumstances."

"Don't worry unless you see birds playing upside down. That's a sign of something much worse."

BLUE IS AN EARTH TONE

Whisperings suggest our Design Review Committee is moving to embrace ALL of the earth, not just land masses in future color choice permissions.

Comments in the air...

"Hey, go to the moon and look back - whataya see? BLUE. Lots of it. BLUE is an earth tone."

"What about that LA sky color? And China skies?"

"Any color is earth tone if it can be found on earth - what we need are CRAYOLA colors. THEN we'd have something!"

"Pantone color is so... Falconhead. TOYO colors - now THEY are something worthy of S.O.!"

CHRISTMAS DECORATION COMPETITION

Let the gamesmanship begin! In an effort to help those who wish to dazzle their neighbors, we offer the following handicapper for those who wish to display and spread their seasonal joy via decoration.

This guide is presented with point values.

1- wrap a tree trunk +1
in white lights 0
in white flashing lights -5
in white twinkling lights +5
in colored lights +5
in all one color light -10
branch lighting +5

outline house
+ 2 per room

bulb size
larger bulbs equal more points
mini +1
large +4
laser +25

reminder: 7.5 watts x 1000 lights = 7.5 kilowatts, may be eligible for Al Gore Visit

2- colored floodlights -10

3- projected generic scenes which could be North Dakota on side of house -128

4- inflatables
Santa +2
Santa and reindeer +4
Elf -1
Helicopter -2
Skiers -5
Snow Globe with snow inside +5
Snowman -5
Snowman with cowboy hat +5
Snowman with Corboy hat, six shooter and spurs +20
Nativity scene -10
Bevo with garland +50

5- flat cutouts
nativity on plywood -6
wrapped presents -4
majii -8
Santa -5
reindeer -3
elf -7
camel -10
lance armstrong +1
any words -15 per letter

6- fake snow
on window +1
on roof -10
on lawn -30

7- advertising -30

8- candles
in window +1
in car +5

9- misc
star on chimney +5
space shuttle on chimney -5
santa riding atop international space station on chimney +20
audible music -40
audible Celine Dion Christmas carols -100
carillion -50
broadcast music on private fm station +40
gingerbread scent +30
reindeer scent -20
curbside eggnog dispenser +20
curbside spiked eggnog dispenser +135
live nativity scene +75
real santa, real sleigh +200
real santa in convertible touring neighborhood with elf 'babes' in sexy costumes +400

NEW PEST SIGHTED!

Giant spiders seen to roam S.O. freely. Bounty set?

An off-property experiment gone terribly wrong? Lair uncovered at the HEB construction site? Bee Cave caves home to mutants? Subterranean intermingling between Michaels and Petsmart?

Honchos at DLC have reportedly discussed putting a bounty on this new pest, caught here resting on a 'don't park your truck here' fence.

Experts brought in suggest the spider may have been lured into the development, mistaking basketball nets for companion webs.