Advancing a lesser-known theory, noted botanist J. Wendell Howell III has suggested that the planting and proliferation of palm trees in S.O. could lead to a breakout of retirement disease, in which residents become accustomed to eating dinners at 4PM, wearing polyesters, men matching white belt and shoes, buying big American cars and driving with the left turn signal left flashing.
"It's just dangerous to take trees indigenous in these zones of Florida and moving them to the east and north. To some they look pretty, and that's the draw, but before you know it, and we've seen this time and time again, a new way or perhaps I should say WAVE of thinking and acting overtakes the locals. We've known for years that local flora can influence the population nearby - look at Humboldt County, California, for example (said to be the most prolific pot growing region in the US.) Do you have any idea what their chocolate chip cookie consumption is in that area? It's off the scale! We've sent researchers there who have completely cut off communications and are lost to our project!"
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