POOL CONVERSION

What with the pool closing for the cooler days, management is allegedly exploring the opportunity presented by an Asian company to drain most of the pool and turn it into a prototype hydroponic farm.

The lower pool can be used to raise shrimp.

Other proposals include a skate-park and a self-cleaning dog park.

BIPLANE TO SPRAY

Given the huge expense annually for landscaping materials, i.e.: fertilizer, weed killer, etc., not to mention the number of application-hours, the executive committee is looking into the purchase of a Bi-Plane to use to spray the whole development at once.

"The plane can easily land on grass. The 18th fairway would certainly work. In fact, you could land on a par 3 with this baby!" said an unnamed source, who continued, "...and we know noise isn't much of an issue. It's like a leaf blower and even then, only for a few seconds. Imagine the parade of cockroaches and crickets marching away from S.O. across Highway 71 into the Uplands!"

S.O. TO HIRE RAINMAKER.

After a withering summer, the 2nd hottest in 83 years, in the middle of an exceptional drought (ranked ABOVE 'extreme",) S.O. has reportedly contracted with a rainmaker to bring much-needed rain to this development.

G.P. "Purdy" Pullman, of Las Cruces, New Mexico, will set up his rainmaking gear on top of Musket Rim in the park there and will begin immediately to summon the clouds and other forces which result in rainfall. "I have soaked plenty of communities throughout the southwest, believe you me," said Mr. Pullman. "Now y'all can expect your dogs and what have you to make some sort of ruckus when my generator is going full tilt 'cause it makes an ultrasonic whistle kind of thing, but that's normal. By the way, I also contract separately for window washing so any of you who wants their windows done at the same time should contact me for a contract. Oh, and the smell will be the bacteria I release in balloons which I will shoot when they get high enough."

ScienceDaily (Feb. 29, 2008) — Brent Christner, LSU professor of biological sciences, in partnership with colleagues in Montana and France, recently found evidence that rain-making bacteria are widely distributed in the atmosphere. These biological particles could factor heavily into the precipitation cycle, affecting climate, agricultural productivity and even global warming. Christner and his colleagues published their results on Feb 29 in the journal Science.

A matter of some controversy, rainmaking is said to be part art and part science.