Investigators from the Office of The Paranormal and Unexplained are due to S.O. this week as mysterious gravity sink holes have been theorized under fallen empty trashcans lining stretches of streets here.
"Yes, we are headed up to Austin," said Leroy DeSainte, noted researcher. "Some of these abnormalities can be attributed to natural causes, but we do have to look more closely into this. They could be caused by a percolation effect of a shifting of the earth's magma, affecting gravity locally. We've also had reports that some golf balls seeming to stick inside the holes on numbers 3,12, and 15. If the magma gets a little elliptical, well, that can make things heavier in certain circumstances."
"Don't worry unless you see birds playing upside down. That's a sign of something much worse."
