A Porsche trap has been set on the back of SO BLVD, as the ground beside a manhole has progressively sunk in the middle of the street. There is said to be a same-sized bulge in Xquan-Xio, China. Close inspection of the asphalt surrounding many manholes shows cracking. DLC has put forth an initiative whereby residents and owners may ADOPT portions of the road as it sinks around the culverts, etc.
Each sponsor will receive a customized bright orange traffic cone to be placed at or near their adopted infrastructure item. After repairs are made, billed, and paid, a permanent plaque will be placed roadside.
"What a Great Idea, " said spokesperson Bucyrus Vanderlay. "We are immediately implementing the initiative which teaches kids how to be socially responsible while it makes SO a better place for all. This adoption can be by an individual, a family, or even a company. We also have broken curbing available for adoption and are thinking about expanding this novel approach to Adopt A Guard!"
"Cutting project maintenance out of the budget was a hard choice to make, but when you are a multi-hundred million dollar company across the Northern Hemisphere, every little bit helps."
