BLUE IS AN EARTH TONE

Whisperings suggest our Design Review Committee is moving to embrace ALL of the earth, not just land masses in future color choice permissions.

Comments in the air...

"Hey, go to the moon and look back - whataya see? BLUE. Lots of it. BLUE is an earth tone."

"What about that LA sky color? And China skies?"

"Any color is earth tone if it can be found on earth - what we need are CRAYOLA colors. THEN we'd have something!"

"Pantone color is so... Falconhead. TOYO colors - now THEY are something worthy of S.O.!"

CHRISTMAS DECORATION COMPETITION

Let the gamesmanship begin! In an effort to help those who wish to dazzle their neighbors, we offer the following handicapper for those who wish to display and spread their seasonal joy via decoration.

This guide is presented with point values.

1- wrap a tree trunk +1
in white lights 0
in white flashing lights -5
in white twinkling lights +5
in colored lights +5
in all one color light -10
branch lighting +5

outline house
+ 2 per room

bulb size
larger bulbs equal more points
mini +1
large +4
laser +25

reminder: 7.5 watts x 1000 lights = 7.5 kilowatts, may be eligible for Al Gore Visit

2- colored floodlights -10

3- projected generic scenes which could be North Dakota on side of house -128

4- inflatables
Santa +2
Santa and reindeer +4
Elf -1
Helicopter -2
Skiers -5
Snow Globe with snow inside +5
Snowman -5
Snowman with cowboy hat +5
Snowman with Corboy hat, six shooter and spurs +20
Nativity scene -10
Bevo with garland +50

5- flat cutouts
nativity on plywood -6
wrapped presents -4
majii -8
Santa -5
reindeer -3
elf -7
camel -10
lance armstrong +1
any words -15 per letter

6- fake snow
on window +1
on roof -10
on lawn -30

7- advertising -30

8- candles
in window +1
in car +5

9- misc
star on chimney +5
space shuttle on chimney -5
santa riding atop international space station on chimney +20
audible music -40
audible Celine Dion Christmas carols -100
carillion -50
broadcast music on private fm station +40
gingerbread scent +30
reindeer scent -20
curbside eggnog dispenser +20
curbside spiked eggnog dispenser +135
live nativity scene +75
real santa, real sleigh +200
real santa in convertible touring neighborhood with elf 'babes' in sexy costumes +400

NEW PEST SIGHTED!

Giant spiders seen to roam S.O. freely. Bounty set?

An off-property experiment gone terribly wrong? Lair uncovered at the HEB construction site? Bee Cave caves home to mutants? Subterranean intermingling between Michaels and Petsmart?

Honchos at DLC have reportedly discussed putting a bounty on this new pest, caught here resting on a 'don't park your truck here' fence.

Experts brought in suggest the spider may have been lured into the development, mistaking basketball nets for companion webs.

THE INKY DINKY SPIDER ENDANGERED

Halloween decoration contest to be investigated by EPA?

As The S.O. community participates in its first annual Halloween Decoration Contest, we have been told that the EPA will be watching developments carefully, as the effects of artificial (spray on) cobwebs have been shown to confuse and entrap a dwindling population of hill country spiders, already stressed by encroaching 'civilization' into their native habitat.

Don't hand out candy to men in hazmat suits.

On a related note, there's apparently no truth to the rumor that Discovery Land Co. has been purchased by the Hallmark Card Company.

POOL CONVERSION

What with the pool closing for the cooler days, management is allegedly exploring the opportunity presented by an Asian company to drain most of the pool and turn it into a prototype hydroponic farm.

The lower pool can be used to raise shrimp.

Other proposals include a skate-park and a self-cleaning dog park.

BIPLANE TO SPRAY

Given the huge expense annually for landscaping materials, i.e.: fertilizer, weed killer, etc., not to mention the number of application-hours, the executive committee is looking into the purchase of a Bi-Plane to use to spray the whole development at once.

"The plane can easily land on grass. The 18th fairway would certainly work. In fact, you could land on a par 3 with this baby!" said an unnamed source, who continued, "...and we know noise isn't much of an issue. It's like a leaf blower and even then, only for a few seconds. Imagine the parade of cockroaches and crickets marching away from S.O. across Highway 71 into the Uplands!"

S.O. TO HIRE RAINMAKER.

After a withering summer, the 2nd hottest in 83 years, in the middle of an exceptional drought (ranked ABOVE 'extreme",) S.O. has reportedly contracted with a rainmaker to bring much-needed rain to this development.

G.P. "Purdy" Pullman, of Las Cruces, New Mexico, will set up his rainmaking gear on top of Musket Rim in the park there and will begin immediately to summon the clouds and other forces which result in rainfall. "I have soaked plenty of communities throughout the southwest, believe you me," said Mr. Pullman. "Now y'all can expect your dogs and what have you to make some sort of ruckus when my generator is going full tilt 'cause it makes an ultrasonic whistle kind of thing, but that's normal. By the way, I also contract separately for window washing so any of you who wants their windows done at the same time should contact me for a contract. Oh, and the smell will be the bacteria I release in balloons which I will shoot when they get high enough."

ScienceDaily (Feb. 29, 2008) — Brent Christner, LSU professor of biological sciences, in partnership with colleagues in Montana and France, recently found evidence that rain-making bacteria are widely distributed in the atmosphere. These biological particles could factor heavily into the precipitation cycle, affecting climate, agricultural productivity and even global warming. Christner and his colleagues published their results on Feb 29 in the journal Science.

A matter of some controversy, rainmaking is said to be part art and part science.