Friday, May 30, 2008

S.O. GOES GREEN


With the rising cost of gasoline paralleling social concerns for energy consumption, S.O. will once again lead the High End Texas housing development industry by contracting with a new West Texas equipment manufacturer to supply wind-up and hand-cranked leaf blowers to the landscaping crew.

"How much waste is there in a 200 mph gust when all you are really doing is moving some grass clippings or leaves?" commented a spokesperson. "We calculate that with a minimum expenditure of human power, you can actually move that debris at 17.5 mph, easily achievable by a powerful spring."

"We are working on similar technology for weed wackers, and hope to have that in beta-test by next spring."

It has been suggested that SO attempt to harness the power potential in the guard-wave-greetings. Especially as the project grows, increased traffic will boost wave-occasions and much like the technology that converts ocean tides to electricity, it's possible to foresee a day when the guard shack computers are completely supplied by wave.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

HUGH HEFNER TO VISIT POOL GROTTO


Hugh Hefner, legendary playboy, has tired of his poolside scene in Beverly Hills and is planning a trip to Austin, Texas.

Mr Hefner has offered to christen the new Grotto at the soon-to-be-dedicated Spanish Oaks pool.

"There is no Grotto that I don't love, especially with Texas limestone!" exclaimed Mr Hefner. Extra lifeguards will be placed on duty for this auspicious occasion.

Monday, May 5, 2008

IF ONLY...



Good to see that the news intern either has a great sense of humor; or sad to see a doofus in action.