Thursday, July 31, 2008

DEAR MS S.O. MANNERS...

A concerned resident asks: "Let's say I am waiting to exit the development. I need to see both left and right traffic flows to make my move. Then, with no warning, some other vehicle pulls up beside me and blocks my view in one direction. Is it proper etiquette to remove my pistol from my boot and deliver an immediate flat tire as long as I am certain no one will be injured?"

Ms. S.O. Manners replies:

"We've all had that thought, if not the loaded boot. But consider that to deliver the flat you have just fired your pistol in the confines of your car, and are now functionally deaf. Plus, in case that vehicle is filled with landscaping professionals, they will have a flat tire and access to pickaxes. Since they cannot move their vehicle due to the flat, they will seek other activities, and planting the pick into your hood or windshield could be their choice. And you still can't tell if there's traffic blocking your exit."

"Ms. S.O. Manners always prefers the potato in the gas pipe as a polite reminder of selfish driving."

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