DLC PONDERS PARADE OF TYVEK??

Following on the heels of the LIVESTRONG FALL PARADE OF TWO HOMES, DLC is said to be pondering the feasibility of starting a new Austin builders' tradition, THE PARADE OF TYVEK.

"Why wait until there's paint and shrubs and all that stuff?" asked John H.J. Farthing, promoter to the building trade.

Tyvek is the wrap used to make homes under construction look like a shipping envelope.

FIRE!

DLC is said to have shown interest in setting up a private fire department. To offset expenses, a line of Official Spanish Oaks Fireman's Unisex wardrobe is said to have been commissioned. Now your little boy or girl can learn fire safety and feel a part of it!

Timetable for the switchover from Hudson's Bend will be announced at a later date.

DONATION

An anonymous gift has shown the generosity of a local couple, who wish to be unnamed. They felt that the association could benefit from their old lawn tractor, to help get those grass-cutting chores done!

SO HOT

It's been so dry and hot here that the LCRA and local fire departments have declared it illegal to play the song Pennies From Heaven for fear of starting a grass fire.

GALA LODGE-NIC JULY 4TH

Top Ten things you won’t see at Gala Lodge-nic on 4th of July

10- Lobster tail eating contest
9- Scorpion races
8- Wet Tee Shirt Contest
7- Steve Yetts Piñata
6- Salute to Timely Road Repair Crew
5- Dolphin Show
4- Fish Camp used as men’s room overflow
3- Fireworks
2- Discounts
1- Will Wynn as Greeter

Top Ten Things You Will See

10- Bikinis
9- Wives elbowing husbands for noticing Bikinis
8- Sunglasses
7- Parking Lot of cars which don’t qualify for Beater discounts
6- Parade of Flip Flops
5- Chairs all taken
4- Margarita-slushy headache victims
3- Builders
2- Realtors
1- People you’ve never seen before

PAY AS YOU GO PARTY

Issues arise, now that certain street repairs have been made.

A gala PAID party at the Lodge and pool will encourage conviviality. Certainly we can afford the admission to a delicious meal, and perhaps this is really a secret method to control the guesting issue we've seen in the past, whereby owners invite overflow guests, but it seems not-very-exclusive and Lubysesque, though the Jello cubes aren't on the menu.

Perhaps Discovery is still paying for the blowout announcing their partnership with Daniel Porter. THAT'S the scale of a premiere development.

BTW: We hear this fall's Livestrong home tour is down to two homes.

NAME CHANGE LOOMS

Spanish Oaks (Golf Club) could become SPANISH OAKS or PALM TREE Golf Club, based on an informal survey of new trees planted on the various estates. A colorful flock of parrots to be let free to roam the properties and piped in Jimmy Buffet music will complete the transition, according to cynics who recall the 'natrual' promise of Daniel Porter.

ADOPT A SUNKEN ROAD

A Porsche trap has been set on the back of SO BLVD, as the ground beside a manhole has progressively sunk in the middle of the street. There is said to be a same-sized bulge in Xquan-Xio, China. Close inspection of the asphalt surrounding many manholes shows cracking. DLC has put forth an initiative whereby residents and owners may ADOPT portions of the road as it sinks around the culverts, etc.

Each sponsor will receive a customized bright orange traffic cone to be placed at or near their adopted infrastructure item. After repairs are made, billed, and paid, a permanent plaque will be placed roadside.

"What a Great Idea, " said spokesperson Bucyrus Vanderlay. "We are immediately implementing the initiative which teaches kids how to be socially responsible while it makes SO a better place for all. This adoption can be by an individual, a family, or even a company. We also have broken curbing available for adoption and are thinking about expanding this novel approach to Adopt A Guard!"

"Cutting project maintenance out of the budget was a hard choice to make, but when you are a multi-hundred million dollar company across the Northern Hemisphere, every little bit helps."

SEA MONKEY PLANS ON HOLD

Plans to convert the fishing hole into a Sea Monkey breeding ground with adjacent mail-order station have been abandoned. "That's not to say we aren't looking for ways to decrease the assessments," said E.I. Somethingson, in a telephone interview. "Turns out we just don't have enough salt in that durn lake to grow them things which we all know are so popular, especially with kids. But we still have a lot of rocks to turn over as we look for some new money streams. Some of the things we're considering are Hill Country Snake Jerky; The Hill Country Golf Cart Demolition Derby; The Celebrity Cardboard Cutout Forest; and The Stare At The Houses You Can't Afford Dream Bus Tour."

GRAVITY SINK HOLES POSSIBLE

Investigators from the Office of The Paranormal and Unexplained are due to S.O. this week as mysterious gravity sink holes have been theorized under fallen empty trashcans lining stretches of streets here.

"Yes, we are headed up to Austin," said Leroy DeSainte, noted researcher. "Some of these abnormalities can be attributed to natural causes, but we do have to look more closely into this. They could be caused by a percolation effect of a shifting of the earth's magma, affecting gravity locally. We've also had reports that some golf balls seeming to stick inside the holes on numbers 3,12, and 15. If the magma gets a little elliptical, well, that can make things heavier in certain circumstances."

"Don't worry unless you see birds playing upside down. That's a sign of something much worse."