NEW POOL TO BE USED FOR AG TRAINING

Ensuring another extraordinary dimension to S.O., developers are said to have penned a contract with a university extension division to host bovine rehabilitation on Mondays, when the pool is closed to the development owners.

VERY VERY LIGHT RAIL PROPOSED

VVLR line proposed for SO.

Paralleling the back road, partially hidden by landscaping, a VVLR (Very Very Light Rail) project has been proposed for SO. It won't really go anywhere significant or serve a useful purpose, like many of the light rail projects in large cities across America, but it will qualify for federal subsidies.

STEPFORD OAKS SUBDIVISION POSSIBLE

Due to rapid advances in lifelike animatronics, we've learned that Discovery is contemplating opening a section of Spanish Oaks to a new subdivision to be called Stepford Oaks, after the similarly named popular movie series of some time ago.

See female prototype here

A male prototype is in development but scientists are trying to overcome its tendency to wander off on its own without asking for directions.

DISCOVERY TO FLY WATER

A corporate leak at Discovery Land Company, developers of signature golf course communities scattered from North Carolina to Montana to Hawaii, suggests that DLC may be flying specially equipped tankers with select waters from existing projects to fill Spanish Oaks' new community pool in a symbolic co-mingling for the July 4th gala hard opening of the lodge and pool recreational facility.

Water is the basis for life - it is said that by using waters collected from the Discovery Family of Projects, the mixture will bring the natural element into final focus.

CAN CAMMO CANS AVOID FINES?

It has been theorized that the trash can issues, i.e.: leaving the cans out after dusk of trash day and storage placement visibility could conceivably be cured by introduction of the stealth Cammo Can. The Cammo Can is a trash receptacle painted to resemble the easement on which one usually sits. Of course, this solution depends on the eagle eyes of the trash truck drivers, as a Cammo Can could be bypassed.

Apparently the idea was hatched when G. E. "Bud" Markham, on a recent home tour, noticed the gouges in the east exit gate, where a truck apparently hit the closed gate, mistaking it for open. "I just got me to thinkin' and there she was," said Bud.

It is not known when or where the stealth cans will be introduced on a pilot program.

S.O. GOES GREEN

With the rising cost of gasoline paralleling social concerns for energy consumption, S.O. will once again lead the High End Texas housing development industry by contracting with a new West Texas equipment manufacturer to supply wind-up and hand-cranked leaf blowers to the landscaping crew.

"How much waste is there in a 200 mph gust when all you are really doing is moving some grass clippings or leaves?" commented a spokesperson. "We calculate that with a minimum expenditure of human power, you can actually move that debris at 17.5 mph, easily achievable by a powerful spring."

"We are working on similar technology for weed wackers, and hope to have that in beta-test by next spring."

It has been suggested that SO attempt to harness the power potential in the guard-wave-greetings. Especially as the project grows, increased traffic will boost wave-occasions and much like the technology that converts ocean tides to electricity, it's possible to foresee a day when the guard shack computers are completely supplied by wave.

HUGH HEFNER TO VISIT POOL GROTTO

Hugh Hefner, legendary playboy, has tired of his poolside scene in Beverly Hills and is planning a trip to Austin, Texas.

Mr Hefner has offered to christen the new Grotto at the soon-to-be-dedicated Spanish Oaks pool.

"There is no Grotto that I don't love, especially with Texas limestone!" exclaimed Mr Hefner. Extra lifeguards will be placed on duty for this auspicious occasion.